19th place - 77.49m (needed to be 12th to throw in final - 81.03m cut off)

It's hard to write this right now, but I will say it again, it is what it is. Some people might say, chalk it up to experience. I really don't need experience. I have it! Some will say they are so proud of me just making it here. Really, it's not about just being here! Don't get me wrong, I know you are all rpoud of my accomplishments and so am I. However, at 32, the only reason to do it, is to win medals! Oh, and I love throwing. 

I wish I could say I felt terrible! I wish I could blame nearly getting killed by my javelin case. I wish I could say that our staff here wasn't the greatest (They're the best! Thanks Larry, Carm, Garfield and BOB!). The food was good enough and bad enough at the same time, so I didn't put on too much weight. I wish I could say that I was really intimidated by Andreas (Olympic Gold Medalist), Tero and the others, but I feel at home on the field. Really, I felt like a million bucks! Mentally, physically and emotionally.

So then why did it go so bad??? I just couldn't fly the javelin. Being able to fly a javelin takes so many things in sequence and timed up perfectly to throw far. Basically, you have to use your entire body to throw a 9 foot spear, but you have to hit in perfectly thru a 2" hole. Imagine trying to pitch a baseball thru a hole that only the baseball could fit thru (with no extra space). Hard right? Javelin throwing is harder. I could continue to explain how hard it is to fly a javelin, but unless you have thrown one, you rally won't understand (Kevin Romary & Andrew Baker - Lawrence, KS News 6 found out a month ago). Check out the link.

6 News - Lawrence :: Sports Challenge: Javelin

When it all ended tonight, it just didn't go the way I imagined my comeback to the world level would go. The hard part now, it going to be talking about how it didn't go well. Explaining to 400 middle school kids will be tough. Sorry fellas!

I wish people really understood what goes into being a top ranked javelin thrower. The amount of work it takes to balance work, training and family life. There are a few people that really know the ups and the downs of this crazy sport. The first being my parents, they have stood by me through thick and thin. I can't thank them enough. My brother, best bro a guy could have. my sisters (not sure if they understand this sport yet. All of my friends. My physio, chiro, and doctors (not sure if they totally understand it either, but I know they know what it's doing to my body). And they deserve a big thanks!!!! Dr. Rob Jones at Peak Performance has been helping me since 2001 and is one of the main reasons I can still compete. The Docs at OrthoKansas (Dr. Randal & Dr. Cupp). They have both taken stuff out of my body. Also, Jeremy Zimney, my physio! Great physio and great friend (can't wait for Thursday night poker, i only have two more months)!

Dr. Jones

Dr. Randall (Cleaned up my shoulder and knee)

Dr. Cupp (Knee injection)

Jeremy Zimney (Works on me every Friday)

 Last but not least, is my wife, Tiffany. She knew the result before I could contact her.

"I saw the results. I am still proud of you and can't wait to see you soon." - words that make everything seem not as bad.

Tiffany and Myself at English Bay in Vancouver, BC. Our short vacation during the Canadian NTL Meets (July 1, 2011)

She really understands me, the sport, and the insane balancing act that I attempt to do on a daily basis. She is the one that gets cancelled on the most, but she always seems to understand. She is the one who hears all my complaining. She is the one that helps me down from the edge of the cliff, when I am about to jump. She is the one who I can't be without! I love everything you do for me and everything you are. Thanks for making this year happen.

I say this last line, because I was about to quit back in February. I was struggling with training and little injuries that were just making training painful. I felt like I wasn't progressing and falling farther and farther behind. We had a discussion about what was going on at practice and why I wanted to quit. WE decided that I would train until my first meet (KU Relays) and make the decision on May 1, if I would retire or not. And wouldn't you know it, I nearly qualified for worlds, so I decided to continue to train for Worlds this year. She helped make the decision with me to continue.

About a month ago, I was in a similar scenario again. I was not qualified for worlds and needed to qualify or retire. My last meet was in Toronto. I had 6 throws to qualify for worlds or walk away for good. That day was really strange, I was tweaking my groin on my warm up throws and did not feel good. The day before, I couldn't jog down the runway because my Achilles tendons were hurting so bad. My first two throws didn't qualify me. I get to my third throw and I recall thinking, "Is this how it's going to end? In Toronto, in front of my family? This would be a good way to go out." But my javelin flew farther than it had ever gone in my career. A Canadian National record! Sometimes things just work out.

Just when you think your ready to be done (and for me, I was retiring in Toronto), you have no hope or belief, something just clicks. You put it all together and you realize that you have the skill. the  ability and the knowledge to be one of the best in the world!

Now, I return to tonight. There is nothing I can do to change this night. I can only move forward, onto the next year. If there will be one? At this point, I am ready to get the ball rolling towards London, but some things need to fall into place before I make my final decision, but I'm ready!